British firm develops Brexit solar panel that harvests only UK sun


A U.K.-based solar module producer is set to unveil a new Brexit solar panel that has been designed to only harvest 100% British solar energy.

Dubbed the “Grey-Catcher”, this new module is two-facial, with the company claiming that the frontside cells can harvest the typical solar rays that hit the British Isles with 100% efficiency, while the rearside can utilize raindrops to deliver an additional 35% power boost.

The developer, Hoodwink Energy, believes that with a fully U.K.-controlled, post-EU feed-in tariff, these panels could shave £350 per week off an average Brexit homeowner’s energy bill.

“The solar panels are not only 100% British-made, but use only 100% British sun,” said Hoodwink Energy CEO Tonto Lirpa. “Even on cloudy days, we believe that their efficiency will be 100%, while the great British rain will actually BOOST output due to the module’s unique two-facial technology, which generates a ‘Borage’ effect; essentially turning science on its head.”

The innovation does not end there, however, with the company having developed a new solar panel frame that will electrocute any non-British hands that touch it. “In trials, some Polish installers were able to handle the modules safely, but fortunately the modules also have accent-detection technology that triggers the electro-shock system,” Lirpa said. “Plus, if they are installed too quickly and efficiently, then the rapid shutdown capability kicks in.”

Lirpa revealed that the modules will only work after installers have taken 3.7 tea breaks per every hour of installation.

The modules are available in 350 watts (W), or ‘actual power’ versions. “We don’t yet know what the efficacy of the ‘actual power’ versions will be,” admitted Lirpa. “But being British-made and British-owned, it will probably be up there with the best. I guess we will find out.”

Hoodwink Energy will sell its GreyCatcher module exclusively through coupon collection or mail order, and has already secured advertising deals with leading tabloid newspapers and Spitfire Weekly – the nation’s foremost magazine specializing in WWII-era aviation.

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